Failure.

It’s one of those words that holds a lot of weight.  For some people, just reading the word on this screen can cause a severe plunge in their mood for the day.  They associate it with deep, harsh feelings that overwhelm them and cause them to stoop into depression.  It’s a reflection of something that they feel has gone horribly wrong in life; something that causes them to feel less-than-perfect.

For others, the word is a little more colloquial.  It’s the word that they use when they break a glass, stub their toe, or forget their wallet at home.  It’s one of those #fail moments.  It’s a reminder that they’re human, but not too much of a hindrance on their mental or physical state.

For me, when I see the word, a mishmash of images and scenarios flash through my mind where I was less-than-perfect, but at the same time it causes me to pause and reflect, thinking, “does failure even exist?”

That’s the question I’ve been wrestling with lately.  Does failure exist?  Is there really and truly such a thing as “failure”?

I suppose it depends on where you come from, who your family is, what sort of belief system you adhere to, etc., as to how you view such a question.  But regardless of all that “stuff” that makes up who I am, I’m just not convinced that there is such a thing as “failure.”

When you read the definition in a dictionary, “failure” is defined as: lack of success, nonfulfillment, defeat, collapse, loser, underachiever, disappointment, write-off, inadequacy, insufficiency, deficiency, malfunction.

Imagine with me for a moment: think of a time that you consider to be a “failure.”  It doesn’t matter whether it was a big moment or something small; just think of it.  How does it make you feel when you think of that moment in time?  Is it a moment where you personally labelled it or you as a “failure?”  Or did someone else tell you that you were a loser?  A write-off?  A disappointment?

I think much of what we project into the feeling of “failure” is the words and feelings told to us by someone else.  Sometimes they are verbally said: “You’re such a disappointment!”  Or sometimes they’re just felt: “I’m pretty sure my mother has written me off.”

In most situations where I could even possibly consider the feeling of “failure,” it is often associated with words someone has said to me, feelings that someone else non-verbally expressed, and as a result I’m left with this feeling of failure, even though it wasn’t me who “named” it.

I’m hesitant to believe that failure really and truly exists, because it implies that nothing good has come or will come from the situation.  That nothing was learned from the situation.  But I simply don’t believe that’s true.

Don’t get me wrong – there are some awful situations that people go through where they stop and think, “there is absolutely nothing good about this.”  I’m not talking about straight-up bad stuff that happens; I’m talking about instances where we feel that we completely screwed up.  But do me a favour – think back to that “failure” moment that you were thinking of earlier.  Is it you that defined yourself as a failure?  Or was it someone else?  Can you see anything good about it?  Even if it’s minuscule?  Is there anything that you learned about yourself or the situation you’re in that can change you for the better?

I think if we are honest and true, and we take the time to dig deep into each situation that we’ve felt like a failure, we can find something that is positive.  It might only be one thing.  It might take weeks, even months, to figure out what that one thing is.  But it’s there.  And because of that one thing, I’m convinced that these challenging moments where we’re less-than-perfect, are not failures.  In fact, they’re successes.

That moment when you failed a course in university?  It taught you that you might not be invincible, but through that make-up course you had to take, you worked hard, discovered that you had even more determination in you than you thought was possible.  That’s a success.

That broken relationship that ended on a very low note?  It taught you your strengths and weaknesses; how you relate to people that you care for; how to grow as an individual and get back out there and love those around you.  That’s a success.

That job that you were fired from?  It taught you how to have responsibility, how to manage your time, how to interact with others, how to invest your money.  It doesn’t matter if you were fired because of cut-backs or for being completely lazy.  You learned these things, and because of that, it was a success.

Without trivializing the topic too much, I think if we start considering less-than-perfect situations to be more of a glass half-full than a glass half-empty, we’ll see that “failure” isn’t as full of sting as we once thought it was.

Life is what we make of it, and if we think that everything that doesn’t turn out perfectly is a “failure,” then we’re cutting ourselves off from some of the best and most profound lessons that we could ever learn.  I’ve made plenty of mistakes, and not accomplished things I’d wanted to accomplish; but that doesn’t make me a failure.  It makes me human, and it makes me conscious of how to live my life better with each step that I take from here on out.

What does “failure” mean to you?

Guys, it’s a Wednesday afternoon, and I’m exhausted.  I don’t know why, but today felt extra long and tiring.  Perhaps it’s the fact that I’ve finally been exercising again now that we own a new-to-us treadmill.

Maybe it’s the fact that we have 1 week and 1 day of school left with the students (and then a couple weeks of clean up, prep for next year, etc.).

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s nearing the end of the regular work week, and I’m just tired.

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s extremely hot outside and it’s wearing me down.

Maybe it’s the fact that our alarm clock didn’t go off this morning and it threw us into a rushed frenzy on our way out the door…

Regardless of the reason for my tiredness, I had the best of intentions to type up this amazing shrimp risotto recipe I’ve got, but I just can’t muster up the energy today.  So instead, I’m doing a bit of a recipe throwback, and reminding you of 4 great recipes that you can start using now that it’s presumably feeling like Spring where you are (…although for me, it’s now feeling hotter than a comfortable temperature, being that it’s 40+C these days).

Curried Deviled Eggs

Greek Bean Salad

Monster Mushroom Burger

Strawberry “Daiquiri” Smoothie

Happy Spring!  Here’s to lots more days of glorious sunshine.

As per usual, here is a video hi-lighting a lot of our photography from our trip to Nepal, plus some Blair-Witch styled video footage, all rolled into one delightful video, complete with Nepalese soundtrack.

Enjoy!

March and April just kind of slipped by, and I forgot to tell you which recipes I had published in the Faith & Friends magazine!  Oops!

Palak Paneer & Indian Style Chutney

French Toast & Grilled Nut Butter ‘n’ Banana Sandwich

I’ll be honest: I’m not that great at making bread.  Actually, I’m certain I’ve mentioned before how baking in general just isn’t my thing.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to eat baked goods.  I loved to eat bread, cakes, doughnuts… but bake them?  They usually turn out as hard as a rock.  Muffins, I can do.  Banana bread, no problem.  Brownies and cookies?  Sure thing. But the rest of it?  Usually a very sad story in the Lublink house.

Have I told you about the time when I made a horribly lopsided birthday cake for Peter?

Or the time when I used my bread machine to make bread and it overflowed (still liquid-y) out of the machine?

No?  I’ll just leave you with those tid-bits and let you bask in my incredible baking “skills”…

But things have changed… I found an AMAZING baguette recipe that I tried and it WORKED.  It worked beautifully!!!

It all started when friends of ours were having us over to dinner for shrimp scampi, and they asked us to bring some fresh bread for dipping in olive oil.  Awesome!  The only trick is that it’s hard for us to find that kind of fresh bread at the last minute in Kuwait.  So, I figured I’d give bread baking another chance.

I did a quick google search on my phone to see what I could find that would a.) taste good b.) be easy enough for me to make and c.) not take a zillion hours heating up my already-warm middle eastern kitchen.

I found this recipe, which is fabulous.  I really can’t say enough good things about it.  I didn’t make all that many changes.  I used a combo of white and whole wheat flours, I braided it instead of leaving it in the usual loaf shape, and I sprinkled it with zaatar (skipping out on the cornmeal).  Oh, and instead of cooking spray (because I don’t have it!), I used regular olive oil and just spread it myself.

So if you’re a terrible baker like me, do yourself a favour and try this recipe.  It’s a keeper in this house!

I started reading at the age of 3.  Remarkably early, so they say.  To be honest, I think that a lot of kids (if not most) have the ability to read quite early; it just takes time and effort.

All the time and effort put into me was in part due to the fact that my grandparents took care of me and spent hours upon hours reading to and with me.  I’m not saying I could read full novels by the age of 3, but basic sentences in picture books?  Sure thing.

I think that the love of reading was instilled into me early on, and it’s stuck with me throughout my life.  I’ve gone through phases of reading different genres (hello John Grisham during high school!), and reading more or less at different times.  But ultimately the love of books is still alive and well within me!

I haven’t given too many reading updates in a while.  Which is funny, because this past year has probably been the year that I’ve read the most books, since grade 5 when we got special prizes for reading.  Previously I’ve tried to set yearly reading goals and have failed miserably.  But this year I just made a giant list of books I’d be interested in reading one day, and it seems that I’m plowing my way through them…

So I thought I’d share 5 books that I’ve read lately that I loved.  No big summaries or in-depth reviews, just a sharing of what’s on my so-called “book shelf.”

I Shall Not Hate: A Gaza Doctor’s Journey on the Road to Peace and Human Dignity by Izzeldin Abuelaish

• If you have strong opinions on the fight between Israel and Palestine, then you’ll appreciate this Palestinian doctor who blurs all boundaries and pulls you right into the heart of his family.   His entire life’s aim has been to share love and peace with the entire world; including Israelis.

A Year of Biblical Womanhood: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting On Her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband “Master” by Rachel Held Evans

• If you think that fundamentalist Christians who follow the Bible to a T are a little off-their-rockers, then you’ll enjoy this book!  Evans takes a look at what it’s like to be a woman according the Bible; for good and for bad.  It’s honest, totally humorous, and I read it in 24 hours.

Crow Lake by Mary Lawson

• As a Canadian who traveled into this area of Northern Ontario, I can see the landscape vividly in my mind.  It’s the type of novel that flashes backwards and forwards into a young girl’s life that was radically changed by a string of events that left her family’s future completely different than she ever imagined was possible.  The writing style is incredible, and right up until the last page I was challenged with my own outlook on life events and how we let them impact our lives.

Jasmine and Fire: A Bittersweet Year in Beirut by Salma Abdelnour

• Abeldnour is a Beiruti who left during one of the many uprisings, lived most of her life in the USA and then decided to move back to her original home of Lebanon for a year to see what it would be like again.  She documents it month-by-month in a candid and light-hearted way, “chatting” through culture, politics, life and food.  And of course, she includes delicious recipes for all the amazing Lebanese cuisine that she makes and tries while living there.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

• This novel is a fun series of letters to and from a London girl and a rag-tag literary group from the island of Guernsey.  It’s set just after WWII when the Germans have left the area and everyone is trying to get back to the way life was.  It’s a glimpse into history, an unlikely love story, and the intertwining of people’s lives.

What have you been reading lately?

How do you feel about Bounty bars?  You know, the coconut-filled ones covered in delicious chocolate?  I’d never really gotten into them until this past year.  For some reason they’re super popular over here, and so when I can’t find the perfect dark chocolate bar, I tend to opt for a Bounty bar.  I think it’s really the coconut that attracts me.  Okay, and the combo with the chocolate, but still, I’m not usually a coconut-in-my-chocolate-bar kind of girl.  But I think I’ve changed my tune on that now.

In any case, when I decided to break in my new food processor this past week, I decided I wanted to make some sort of power bite/dough ball idea that would combine two delightful ingredients: chocolate and coconut.

So I just started dropping in ingredients, mixing and matching, processing, and seeing if I could find a good consistency and combination in flavours.  And that I did, friends.

Although, I’ll be the first to admit that they kind of look like miniature cow patties… but that’s something we can get past, I’m sure of it.

These are like a healthier version of a Bounty bar.  They’re sweet, but waaaaaay less so than a Bounty bar.  They’re packed full of protein, but not in a I-can-taste-the-chickpeas kind of way.  Give ‘em a try.

Chocolate ‘n’ Coconut Power Bites:

• 2 cups of cooked chickpeas
• 1 tbsp. shredded coconut
• 1 banana
• 1/2 cup of oats
• 2 tbsp. honey
• 2 tbsp. peanut butter (or any other nut butter)
• 1 heaping tbsp. cocoa powder
• Pinch of salt

Combine all of the ingredients into your food processor and pulse for approximately 30 seconds, or until the mixture is well combined.  Refrigerate the mix as-is for at least 30 minutes.  Remove from the fridge, form into small balls and place on a baking sheet.  Bake at 350F for 10 minutes, just until the bites firm.  Transfer to a cooling rack and once they are cool, keep refrigerated.  Makes 12.  They will last for about 5-7 days in the fridge.

Like the sound of these?  Try my Peanut Butter Pomegranate Power Bites too!